Paul’s inner-city adventures

So I’ve held on from posting for a while because I was waiting for the newest change in my life to become official.
This morning I received the call that I am officially hired as the Teen Director for the Boys and Girls Club in Church Hill, my neighborhood!
This is very exciting, which those of you who keep up with this should know, because I will be working in the inner-city context, which has been on my heart for years now, and I will be working with teenagers, which recently began to stand out to me.
This is a pretty big position, as I will be in charge of all the programming for teens at the Club, which has been there far longer than I’ve been alive.  I will be starting brand new, knowing only the executive director, having met only some of the staff once, and knowing none of the teenagers.  But God is great, and knows what he’s doing.
So here’s to seeing what’s next…

    I don’t blog.  March was the last entry, and plenty has happened.  But for you, the reader, I will work to update more.
    In regards to the aforementioned entry, I am not living off support, though I haven’t closed the option.  I’m not sure I can jump to that realm unless I know I can sustain myself, and my list of expenses has grown immensely.  I will get more into that soon.  Still know that if you want to support me, or know a rich old couple that would like to give me a heavy check, I am open to talking.  I still believe it would be beyond amazing to be supported to spend all my time doing ministry, instead of having to limit that time to when I’m not working.

    Segue: As for work, I have been actively looking for ways to free my schedule for ministry.  This would mean leaving my current job for one that has a consistent schedule.  Currently, there is a position open for me that I would have taken without thinking a year ago.  I would be working with innercity teens with a well known organization, and would be within biking distance.  I need your prayer, as the snag is the hours– 1 to 8– which means I would only get an hour a night to spend with my fiancee.

    Segue 2: I am engaged to a beautiful princess who also has a heart for ministry.  Our time together is important, especially since she’s a first year teacher and could use an extra pair of hands to grade the piles of papers she brings home every night.  Do I lose some of this time with my fiancee, which I value, to take a job that is precisely what I’ve been looking for?  Or do I say “no”, and trust something else will come up?  In the meantime, we’ve been working on planning a wedding, which can be tricky.  We’re looking at July.  We’re both excited about her moving into my new home and being a part of the ministry that will grow from this house.

    Segue 3:  I am a homeowner.  I officially own a home in innercity Richmond.  It is in Church Hill, on the east end of Richmond, a few blocks from my good friends the Case’s, a few blocks from my mentor and premarital counselor Pastor Don, and a few blocks from many wonderful people.  It is located off one of the busier streets in Church Hill, not far from one of Richmond’s projects.  For this reason, many people have gotten that stunned look on their face when I tell them where I live.  Sure, there are issues every now and then; but I actually feel “safer” here than I did in Delaware, and I felt safe in Delaware.  I tell these people that, while I know things happen, there are a lot of stereotypes that get put on these neighborhoods.  In all honesty, there is a higher percentage of wonderful people than those people tend to be frightened of.  There are families, there are mothers doing a great job raising their children, there are older folks who have been here longer than I’ve been alive.  This is a community; that is precisely why I moved here.  I love how close everyone is to each other in proximity, because it opens the possibility of growing closer in relationship.
    I have no immediate plans for officially turning my home into a source for ministry, though I’m open to it if God deems it so.  I am simply happy to relate to those around me, and to see where that goes.  He has already gotten the wheels moving.  I have interacted a lot with my neighbor, who has lived in her house for over 30 years, I believe.  She is very sweet, and very welcoming.  My mom baked her a pie.  I also met some guys who parked in the alley behind my house late one night to fix their car, and as a result blocked me in.  I enjoyed the opportunity to help them out and to talk.  My favorite moment was the 30 minute conversation with one of the builders, who grew up in innercity St. Louis, who was initially shocked when he found out I was the buyer.  We talked at length about working in group homes, about the need to remove the misconceptions on the city, and the importance of reaching the youth.

    In short, things are happening, but they are still in the process.  So pray for my job, that I may make a wise decision (and talk to your rich friends and family about supporting me!)  Pray for my fiancee, and our approaching marriage, and the ministry that will grow from that (we look forward to working together again in ministry…that’s how we met!)  And pray for this home, that it will exist for God’s glory, not simply for my shelter.

As most of you know, I spent over two years working with the inner-city ministry UrbanPromise Wilmington (www.urbanpromise.org). It was an incredible period of growth and transformation, and while there I found confirmation that God created me to live my life for the youth in inner-city neighborhoods.
Upon leaving, I began working at a group home in Richmond. I have been interacting for six months with about 8 teenage guys from all different settings, gaining experience in dealing with a range of issues. The unexpected result is that I have a desire to work with teenagers; crazy, as I’ve always worked with kids. It seems to me that teenagers are the first to be written off; “It’s too late once they go into middle school.” For this reason, many will focus on children. Don’t get me wrong, it is highly important to reach out to the children, and you do have more of an opportunity to help them see their potential the younger you start. But I DO NOT agree with the sentiment that it’s too late for teenagers. I’ve seen too many teenage-transformations to accept that.
As much as this job is equipping me, I have been overwhelmed at times with a feeling of dissatisfaction; the inner-city is calling me back, ministry is calling me back. I desire so much to return to the work I love; living in the communities, working with youth in the ministry context… “living ministry”, not just “doing ministry.”
The problem is, I am officially an adult, and need a salary. Bills, expenses, and so forth require that I have some form of income, and, in my searching, I have not found a paying position in this department. Further, I am buying a home in a low-income area of Church Hill; I am highly excited about returning to this setting (I love the community aspect, and that I can sit on my porch and talk with my neighbors), but it will take money.
So what am I getting at? A possibility has opened up with a ministry in the northside of Richmond to work with youth, and help develop that aspect of the ministry. Unfortunately, the funding does not yet exist for it to be a full-time position, though there is a possibility for a part-time salary. What the founder has suggested is that I pray about raising support. I had done so while at UrbanPromise, but now the stakes are higher; if I get lazy, I might miss a mortgage payment. So basically, the ministry would provide some income, and the rest would come from monthly donations.
Above all, I ask for your prayers. I desire so much to be back into a role that brought me joy for over two years, and to be there by the fall. But raising support is intimidating, and “risky”. Yet God is never intimidated, and He has access to unlimited funding; I have no doubt that he could provide. I have a pastor friend who lives entirely off support, and it is enough to own a home and support his wife and teenage daughter. Pray for guidance, patience, faith, and wisdom.
However, if you feel that perhaps being a monthly supporter is something you’d be interested in, pray about that too, and talk to me. It seems that ministry is so dependent on others who fill this role, but isn’t that how it should be? In that way, we’re all connected in the ministry; and for those that aren’t called to work in the inner-city context, it’s your way to help make a huge impact. Monthly support could look like any amount; after all, if enough people committed to $5 a month, I’d be set. I’ve never felt comfortable asking for money, but this possible course has come up too many times over the last 8 months for me to ignore it any longer. So pray about it, and know that it won’t just be money to me, but it will be your way of helping me do what I know I am called to do, and what I love to do.

This note is long enough. Pray. Pass it on. Ask me questions.

I will update as things develop.

Of course, much has happened in the time I haven’t updated. However, for now, I will keep things simple. Things are well, busy, and encouraging. I’m starting to see the little changes in myself. I’m exploring the possibilities that may exist concerning me and the innercity context.

In other news, I made it official: I leave UrbanPromise in August. This, of course, has nothing to do with UrbanPromise; in any other situation, I’d stay for many years more. But Dan and I are commited to serving in Richmond. We aren’t sure what that will look like, but we know it will happen. So there’s that. As a result, two things must happen; I must ensure I use my time well at UP, and I must begin working towards Richmond. Both are beginning to happen.

We’ll see what happens. It’ll be an interesting journey.

Dear Friends and Family,

    I have decided that I have been depriving you of updates for too long.  I apologize for the delay, but I appreciate you sticking with me.  Here is the latest:
    I am just about to begin my second year of directing the after-school program at Camp Victory.  In preparation for this letter, I happened to glance back at the letter I wrote a year ago, signaling the start of my first year as director.  It was interesting to read, but one part caught my eye:
        “At this point, I must make it clear that I am only part of this; God is, and will remain, the largest factor of my ministry here.  Had it not been for His guidance and planning, I would not be here.  Without His strength, I will, without a doubt, crumble at some of the situations to come.  God is my reasons and means for being here, and that is encouraging.  It means my work here is not just work; it has a deep purpose.  It means my work is not superficial; it has depth.  It means my work is not solely in my hands; God is pro-actively present to guide me.”

Over the course of the last 15 months, I have found where this has proved true, and where I have proved unfaithful.  Of course I believed it, always, but I didn’t fully commit to it.  There were times I stuck to my strength, and crumbled.  There were times I forgot who God is, and was discouraged.  There were times I went about this as work, and missed the purpose.  There were times I didn’t go deep.  There were times I kept too much in my hands.
    I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but realistic.  But there is, in this, something wonderful; because I’m still aware that God is working, I am confident that paragraph is not lost.  Now, I find myself on the verge of a new year, and the clear opportunity to make that paragraph a reality in my ministry.  That is my goal for the remainder of my time here; my vision is to come out of this a missionary who will live out that paragraph at all times.  A tall order, but one I desire.  I ask for your prayers and encouragement, as this will prove a busy and difficult time.  I must keep myself from falling into the familiar traps of fear and sloth.  I must, MUST, strive for more.  And I must rely on God throughout.
    This is also a very difficult time for the ministry.  As our SLer Director puts it, we are going through “a financial desert.”  Due to rising prices, added expenses, and lower support, we are having to make big decisions and certain sacrifices.  Of course, we trust God in this; He led Israel out of the desert to the Promised Land, and Jesus from the Wilderness into a richer ministry.  Further, we understand that ministries face times such as these.  However, any support you could offer would not only be greatly appreciated, but would find much use.  Feel free to pass this letter to others who may want to help, be it an individual, church, business, and so forth.  We do appreciate your support, and hope to make this clearer in the future. 
    Again, thank you for your continued support, even if it is simply keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.  Ministry can be a difficult thing; but I wouldn’t choose a different path.

June 2006

    302.425.5502

Dear Friends and Family,
    I apologize for the lapse in writing; I went from being very busy to a much needed and appreciated break.  However, I am back in Delaware, and I am very glad to be here.
    We have just finished the first week, and I am pleased.  I have remained the director at Camp Victory; but this served as a point of anxiety, being that I had never directed a summer camp.  The stakes are higher than the after-school program: there are over twice as many kids, almost twice as long, and much more extensive.  I knew I was excited about the summer, but that excitement was muffled by the pestering thoughts of all the ways I might not be prepared.  In fact, our first work day was pretty rough for my confidence.  We spent a Saturday preparing the camp, and I found that I was very ineffective when leading the StreetLeaders.  I began to recognize reasons why I would not make a good director.
    But I knew God had brought me here, and intended me to be a director.  I got my confirmation in the laundry room.  It’s not uncommon to find scripture posted in random places throughout the house.  I happened to notice one on a cabinet above the sink, one that I seemed to have never seen: “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9.  The apostle Paul had just finished talking about his weaknesses when he wrote this verse.  He was well aware that he was not perfect, and that he was not worthy of the privilege and responsibility of the task God had given him.  He also knew this was precisely why he was chosen, because then it would be clear that God was behind it all.
    Before camp started, I felt equally unworthy; when preparation began, it was confirmed.  Then God gave me a verse that reminded me how this ministry thing is supposed to work.  God never intended ministry to be us doing something; it was always meant to be God working through us.  God does not intend me to simply direct a summer camp; I could have done that anywhere.  But he brought me here to UrbanPromise to first serve Him, and then to have a camp run as a result of that obedience.
    I am excited about this summer; how I will be changed, how God will work through me, and so forth.  I will try to keep you all updated on what happens, though it is a very busy summer.  In the meantime, thank you for your prayers, and for your support.  The summer is a very expensive time for the ministry, since we strive to keep camp free for the children in our areas.  Your continued support helps make all this happen; you help pay for the interns, for the supplies, for the expensive gas, for the StreetLeaders, and so on.  It is truly a blessing that many of you have chosen to impact the city in this way, and it is greatly appreciated.
    I hope you are all well.  Remember that God is always working.

    In Him,
                               

    Paul Granger
                                Director, Camp Victory

This week has been a good week, especially when compared to some specific days. In fact, one of those days was Monday. Put briefly, any day that the kids don’t have school will be a difficult day. It seems to me they sit at home until camp, storing up both their hyperness and attitudes. I’m fortunate to get it handed to me once they walk in the door.

But I digress. Monday was hard, and gave me a poor expectation for the rest of the week (it doesn’t help when a chunk of the kids say, “I’m not coming to camp tomorrow” or “this week” or “ever again”). Tuesday, I expected 5 kids. This is when God showed that He’s still working. The first shock, the kids started coming on time (instead of the usual 45 minutes late). The second shock, all the “I’m not coming kids” came (honestly, I figured they were bluffing). The third shock, some previously absent kids came. The fourth shock (yeah, I’m still going), some of the kids brought friends, who already had permission from their parents to come to camp. The fifth and final shock, I had 16 kids in camp. 16. That’s a record. In all, attendance was great this week (save for one day), and I have 4 new kids, who seem like they will come regularly.

But this isn’t what made me the “proud parent”; that came Thursday. Thursday was the other extreme in attendance: 4 kids. This was partly do to the fact 4 of them were involved in some talent show. I’m not sure what the other part was. Though there were just four kids, it was a good day. Mid-way through, I got a call from the office. The mom of one of my girls had called to let me know that her daughter was in some dance thing that night. I thought about it; on one hand, it would be good to go as her director. Plus, she has yet to come to camp this year, so this might be a good way to show I miss her at camp. On the other hand, it was at 6:00 (I don’t leave camp until 6:00) and at a school I had never been to (nor did I know where it was). So, I wasn’t sure what to do.

The end of the day comes, and I decide I will go if the school is in the city. It turns out to be just a few blocks away. So, I head over, 5 minutes late. I was a bit scared about parking (wasn’t sure where the parking lot would be), but, by “chance”, there was a spot on the street in front of the main door. I parked, and went in; the auditorium was extremely dark (they were already onto the third part of the program), so I just sat in the first good seat I could find. By “chance”, I came in just as one of my girls was presenting a piece on MLK JR. By “chance”, those four kids and that one girl were in the same show (I had thought the talent show was during camp.) That’s about when I heard, “Mr. Paul”. By “chance”, I had sat on the same row as one of the boys from camp, and his mom. She seemed impressed to see me there. The show went on, and I saw one of my 6th graders on the drums, having a great time. Then I saw the other girl, dancing. Watching my kids up there made me smile, made me laugh, and made me very glad I had gotten that call, by “chance”. That’s when I heard another, “Paul”. By “chance”, I had sat just across the aisle from one of my 1st graders and her mom.

The show was great; your typical elementary school performance, but I think that’s what makes it great. I loved seeing my kids on stage, and seeing my kids in the audience. I loved seeing the parents and talking to them. It was just a great night that I had no idea would happen until 6:00 that night.

The message here is clear, and can be summed up nicely: there is no “chance”, there is only God.

God led that parent to call the office, and the office to call me. God led me to have an open night, and to find a spot right in front of the school. God led me to sit by my kids, and had the kids be in the same show.

God’s working in my camp, He’s working in my life. He’s made that clear, once again.

During the summer, I almost got patted down by the police, I got offered drugs, and I had to deal with a shoplifting incident. Then there was this long gap of nothing extreme happening. Today, I bring you my tale that ends that hiatus.
So, on my way back from dropping off the 1st and 2nd graders after their retreat, I made three realizations: it was a nice day (kids were out), I had time, and I needed kids in camp. So, I decided to do some canvassing on some of the familiar streets. It was relatively uneventful for a while; most of the kids had disappeared. I did happen to sign up one girl who had been in the summer program, and I saw one of my kids from the summer. I also spoke to a lady on 10th street who seemed very interested.
And that’s when I met the junkie.
I was crossing the street, heading up 10th in the direction of the staff house (it’s on Lombard, and I was between Pine and Lombard.) Out of the corner of my eye I could see a disheveled man approaching me. It was one of those “coincidetal” approaches; he appeared to be talking to someone across the street while walking to the sidewalk I was on. However, by the time he reached the sidewalk, he was literally beside me. I knew something wasn’t right.
“Hey man,” he does the reach for the handshake that I’ve seen before, and then whispers something about the house around the corner. I figure he’s offering me drugs; “No, thank you.”
“No, no man. I mean, that house they’re working on, you’re part of that right?”
“Yeah…”
“That’s where I’m heading, let’s go.”
Of course, I didn’t intend on going. Fortunately (or so I thought), there were some kids up ahead. So, I readied my camp forms, and started talking to them, while he walked on.
“Hey, what grades are you guys in?” They start telling me, and things are going well. And he’s watching. He walks back briskly, approaching me.
“Hey, you can’t talk to those kids.”
“I was just–”
“You can’t talk to these kids. You go to their parents, you don’t talk to these kids.”
“I understand, I was–”
“No! You can’t just come over here saying, ‘hey, what are you doing after school.’ You can’t talk to these kids!” At this point, he is up in my face yelling. “You know what?! I want your name, I want your address, I want to see some Identification! Right here!” Now, he’s backed off a bit like he wants to hit me.
And here I am, a bit in shock, a bit confused, but trying to calm the situation. “Listen, I know you don’t know me, but one of my kids lives right there, I can take you over and–”
“No, I want your name, I want to see your ID.”
“I don’t have it. Look, I have a few families–”
“Who do you think you are?! Where do you live?!”
“Just around the corner at that house–”
“I want to talk to your superior.”
“Okay.” So we walk towards the staff house, thinking Rob may still be there.
“What you are doing is wrong, you can’t just come out here and talk to these kids! See them?! They’re parents, they’re parents. These kids are my kids, and I don’t want you coming out here talking to them!”
And here is where I recognize God. All this happened just across the street from a church. I had passed this church at the start of my canvassing, and met two former StreetLeaders, one of whom’s brother is one of my StreetLeaders. When he starts pointing to parents, he points to her, and she gathers what’s happening. So she starts yelling out to him, “He’s not doing anything wrong, he runs a good program out here!” He crosses the street, arguing with her. I cross with him, and hang around the sister while he starts heading towards the staff house again.
“Well, I’m done.” I call James to pick me up.
While waiting, I see our neighbor, Mrs. B, on her porch. I wave, and walk over. That’s when I see the guy coming off of our porch.
“Hey, the older guy said I could borrow a drill, and he said someone would be here.”
“I think they left about an hour ago.”
“Well, he said I could use it, so someone needs to let me in.”
“Yeah, I think they’re gone for the day.”
“I need a drill, man,” he says as he starts walking away.
“Hey, we’re, all cleared up, right?”
“Aw, yeah man, yeah. You just can’t be doing that.”
“I understand, and thank you for letting me know, that’s something I can work on.”
“Cause you just can’t be doing that.” Suddenly, my StreetLeader’s mom comes around the corner.
“He’s doing a good thing out here, you’ve got him all wrong.”
“I’m telling him he can’t be doing that.” They go on for a few seconds, then he walks off. I notice Mrs. B is taking in groceries, and that she’s using her walker. I offer to help out, and grab the ginger ales from the trunk.
“Thank you, you’re doing a good thing here.” Then she starts talking to the mom. “I was watching the whole time. I was ready for him to get close so I could hit him with my walker.”
While I wait for James, I ask the mom, “Do you know who he was?”
“He’s just a junkie with no kids, looking for trouble.  He’s not going to do anything.”

It’s the most threatened I’ve felt, but I’m holding onto that experience. Why? First and foremost, it reveals God’s power. Is it just coincidence it all happened on a familiar block, across from people that knew me? Is it coincidence there were people out there ready to help? Is it coincidence the junkie didn’t try to do anything?
No.
Second, I learned. I learned that there are people in the east side that have my back. I learned that I am, in fact in a dangerous area (but guided by a powerful God). I learned a bit more about how to canvass.
Third, this relatively uneventful event has given me experience. There’s nothing like a situation that tests you but doesn’t harm you to prepare you for the future. I suspect, the next time something like that happens, there will be less shock and more focus.
Fourth, anyone who saw what happened, and sees me back on the block later, will gain more respect for me. After all, I’m not running away.

To my mom, my girlfriend, and any others that wish they hadn’t read this: I’m okay. Yes, it could’ve been worse, but God made His presence known. Besides, this is the life I have chosen(or, perhaps, that He has chosen for me), dangers and all. I doubt this is the last time I will face such a situation, but I am not afraid. God brought me here, and He will no doubt carry me through.

So, there it is, the tale of Paul and the Junkie.

You can breath now, Shannon.